


Spacing out.

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Dissociation, Good Boyfriend, Hate is expected, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hate myself, I ruined a perfectly good prompt, I'm a bitch for angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jared Kleinman is trying, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Welcome to hate, absolute garbage, but i suck at writing it, just barely, pretty OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 13:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11276454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan can't leave the house for half an hour without coming home to his boyfriends sobbing on the couch. Not that he blames them.//Basically Evan leaves to get groceries and in that time Connor starts dissociating, and Jared isn't sure what to do when Connor snaps out of it and into a full fledge panic attack. //





	Spacing out.

**Author's Note:**

> This is complete shit, It isn't beta'd and really short I'm so sorry. 
> 
> The prompt was given to me by my friend Nathan and you guys can find him on tumblr at noncommittal-shrugging. This was actually a really cool prompt but I fucking ruined it. Anyways you guys should follow him. Any and all reviews hate/critic/nice are all appreciated thanks okay bye.  
> Nathan if you are ashamed of this msg me I will take it down and not be insulted.

Jared Kleinman was a pretty nice guy, he could be a bit of an asshole and over-the-top, but overall not a bad person. He was a good boyfriend too, he did his best to listen to his boyfriends problems, give advice, and lighten the moods when things got heated. He really did care about his boyfriends, and he really did try to help them, and honestly, he was pretty proud of how much better he had gotten at it in the last few months he had been living with them. Though it was clear that even with months of handling late night breakdowns and some more gruesome aspect of his boyfriends that he wasn't prepared for this.

Things had been going well enough, it was to be expected. It's not like this was Jared's first time being alone with Connor by any means. They sat lazily on the couch watching some shitty romantic comedy Evan had left on before he left for the store. But as time went on Jared continued to notice things about Connor from the corner of his eye. Like they way he clasp the edge of the couch tighter suddenly, or how he tensed every few seconds each time growing longer and the spaces between growing shorter. He noticed the already pasty white skin continuing to become more and more pale, and how his eyes slowly began glazing over. He sat for a few minutes, side-eyeing his boyfriend before he finally turned to really look at him. "Hey, uh, Connor? Are you okay?" He asked looking confusedly at his boyfriend who didn't respond. Assuming he hadn't heard, Jared raised his voice slightly. "Connor? Are you alright?" Still no reply.

Growing worried he tapped Connor’s shoulder lightly. Connor was shaking now and tears were gathering in his eyes Jared became frantic as he noticed his boyfriends worsening state. Slowly he called to the dazed boy,"C-Connor, come on, what's up?" Connor’s breath was coming out in gasps as he began to curl in on himself. His long hair falling over his face as he leaned forward. "Connor, Hey snap out of it! You're okay, I'm right here. Please calm down.." He said his hands hovering over his boyfriends hunched form unsure of what to do. He could remember this happening once or twice before, Evan had handled it perfectly well, staying calm and grabbing the boy’s attention fairly quickly. He could do this, just do like Evan did. Slowly he set his hand on Connor’s back,"C-connor, please look at me." He slipped his hand into Connor’s pulling it away from where it had been clutching his shirt. "Connor please, Sit up." He said, louder this time. Connor glanced at him from his curled position, turning his head to see Jared properly. Jared could feel his chest tighten at the sight of his lover's tear-streaked face. "H-hey Connor, you with me?" He asked noticing his boyfriend’s eyes on him.  
   
After a few moments waiting for a response he tried again, "Connor can you say something please, you're kind of scaring me." He said his voice shaking. Once more he received no response. "Connor, please, I-I really-" He was cut off by Connor suddenly lurching towards him, throwing his arms around Jared's shoulders and burying his face into Jared's chest. Loud gasps and sobs sounded from the taller man, and Jared quickly threw his arms around Connors torso holding him tightly feeling panic swell in his chest. "H-Hey you're okay, Connor please calm down." He rushed out because fuck he wasn't cut out for this. "Its okay, Its gonna be okay, I'm right here. You're okay. I love you. You're fine." He said frantically trying to reassure his boyfriend. Slowly he raised one hand and pet Jared’s raven hair softly.

He felt tears welling in his own eyes and bit his lip holding his breath and screwing his eyes shut in an attempt to will them away. He leaned so that Connor’s face was buried in his neck while he tried to gather himself. God damn it he wasn’t equipped for this, why did Evan have to be gone now. “Hey you’re okay Connor please breath. Everything is fine, we are okay.” He heard himself say keeping his voice surprisingly steady. The sobs continued to rip through the small apartment for several minutes, drowning out the sound of the long forgotten TV. Jared had since shifted so that Connor was almost lying on his chest. Sitting horizontally across the couch with Connor crumpled on his chest. His shirt was soaked with tears, snot, and saliva, though he hadn’t noticed or hadn’t cared because he made no move to prevent it from becoming any more so. Instead, he clutched onto Connor like a lifeline and hoped to all the gods possible that he would calm soon. He continued to spout reassurances, not even paying attention to what he was saying. 

His face was red and wet with tears when he eventually heard the tell-tale sound of the apartment door opening and closing. He almost didn’t hear the call of “Connor, Jared, I’m home!” drift through the hallway. Not wanting to move Connor and get Evan himself he called weakly over the boy’s shoulder, “Evan, please come here.” He watched over the top of Connor’s head as Evan came through the door, a worried look on his face, “Jared wha-” He cut himself off seeing the sight before him. “What the fuck happened?” Evan asked rushing forward. “I-I don’t know, he started disassociating and when he snapped out of it he was like this. I couldn’t calm him down.” Jared replied hurriedly. “How long has he been like this?” Evan asked as he tugged softly on Connor’s shoulder pulling the distraught man’s attention towards himself. Jared shifted so that he could stand and Connor was sitting on the couch in front of Evan, who crouched in front of him. “Like ten to fifteen minutes, I-I’m not entirely sure.”   
Slowly Jared walked away from Connor and Evan, leaning heavily against the door frame. He watched Evan calm Connor and blinked his eyes owlishly before leaving the room to clean himself up. ‘God I am a mess.’


End file.
